You probably think “painted squirrel” is a euphemism for something else. It isn’t. My Grandma Rose, born and raised on the East Coast, moved to Minnesota from Rhode Island in 1975, shortly after I was born. Grandma Rose was prim, proper, never swore, never drank, always clothed in a dress and heels, served with silver on china, had a proper coffee service…and…painted squirrels. 

There is a backstory. After she moved to Minnesota, Grandma Rose grew increasingly perturbed with the squirrels as they would unabashedly binge on her bird food – the little gluttons that they were. She’d scare them off, they’d run back. After a few of the portly rodents went on a particularly ruthless bird-seed-bender, she decided she’d had enough. Grandma Rose took matters in her own hands. She set live traps and after one of the fatties took the bait, she would drive it across town, over a river and caringly bid it adieu. She’d watch the obese squirrel’s little legs struggle against its own weight as it lumbered out of the cage and made a life for itself in a brave new land; across the river. You’re probably wondering where the spray paint comes into play. Well…

After a few months of this, Grandma Rose didn’t see the squirrel population decrease as quickly as she had hoped and wondered if they were somehow finding their way back to her bird-seed-buffet. So, she did what any retired person with ample time on their hands would do in that situation – she went to the hardware store, bought a can of blue spray-paint and started tagging the squirrels she brought to the other side of the river – just to see if they would make it back.

This didn’t go unnoticed. Grandma Rose’s neighbor soon observed what was going on and inquired. The neighbor thought it was a grand idea so he too got in on the action and painted his squirrels red. Fun times.

Truth-be-told – my Grandma did this for years before I ever found out. When I was about 8 or 9, I remember sitting on her lap and there was a shock of brilliant blue in her silvery white hair. At about the exact moment I noticed that, I saw blue in her eyebrows and on the frames of her glasses. When I asked her, Grandma Rose explained that when she recently sprayed one of her squirrels, the paint-can was turned in the wrong direction and sprayed herself in the face. She said this without cracking a smile.

I never thought wildlife-decorating was odd until I was in my 20’s and mentioned to my now-husband that Grandma Rose painted squirrels. He advised that painting squirrels is not something the average person does. To me, it was just the suburban variation of an Animal Behaviorist.

Although Grandma Rose went to paint squirrels in the sky in over 20 years ago – her spirit, character and stories will last forever.

So – if you made it this far – this blog is not solely about painting squirrels, or Grandma Rose – I intend for it to be an eclectic mix of whatever mischief I happen to get into that week. Maybe I’ll post a care package I made for someone, a headboard I made, maybe I’ll paint a wall, or maybe, just maybe I’ll paint a squirrel……